Pedro and his brother have always been open about their relationship. To friends, family and at school. According to him, he's never experienced any hatred due to his incest relationship with his brother.
Unlike Scandinavia where one can risk years of prison for sharing love and affection with one's sibling, incest is legal in Spain and in many other European countries.
When moving to Sweden two weeks ago, Pedro decided to make an account on the Swedish LGBTQ website Qruiser.se.
- I am an honest guy, so I wrote in my profile description that I am in a relationship with my brother and that I was looking for new friends in Sweden, says Pedro.
- My brother lives in Spain, so I couldn't possibly violate Sweden's hateful legislation that forbids incest, he says.
Didn't mention sex at all
- What's funny is that I only mentioned that my brother was my boyfriend. I never mentioned anything about sex. The law about incest is only criminalizing the sexual part, so the relationship itself is not even illegal in Sweden, says Pedro.
Death threats and hateful messages
Minutes after Pedro had registered his account, he started receiving hateful, discriminating messages as well as death threats.
The first message he received stated that "incest is gross and should be illegal", following up with "You're a retard, incest is really fucked up! Something is wrong with your brain".
These messages sent by the Qruiser user CJR on his 30th birthday (!) were far from the worst messages Pedro received that day.
- I can't understand how my relationship with my brother can affect anyone else but us, nor how Swedish people can be so narrow-minded, ignorant and hateful, says Pedro.
- I always thought of Sweden as a progressive, open society where people could love whomever they want to love, he says.
A 31-year old man wrote to Pedro that if he saw him on the streets of Stockholm, he would shoot him in the head, cut him in small pieces and feed animals with his dead body.
Pedro reported the message to Qruiser, whose response was to remove his account, referring to their policy which does not permit incest on their website.
In other words, debating, mentioning or talking about incest in private messages is contrary to Qruiser's terms and such members risk having their accounts removed.
Pedro only took a screenshot of one of the hateful messages he received. He now regrets that he did not take screenshots of all of them. When logging in the following day, he discovered that his account had been deleted.
- I was considering going to the police, but a Swedish friend living in an incest relationship advised me not to do it. He said Swedish police could arrest me if I would admit that I had a sexual relationship with my brother, so I decided not to, says Pedro.
Allowing high-risk sex, but not incest
- I find it really fascinating that Qruiser allows groups where one can seek bareback sex, but forbids incest debates, says Pedro.
- In other words, it's completely okay to Qruiser that a 15-year-old contracts HIV from a 40-year-old man, while my love relationship is not okay, he says to GLXY.
Happy to have found support on GLXY
- I am really happy that I have found GLXY, a site where I can talk to other people in the same situation, says Pedro.
Pedro wrote a forum post about the situation yesterday night, and has received nothing but supportive response from GLXY's members.
Returning to Spain
Pedro does no longer feel safe in Sweden and has decided to return to Spain by the end of the week. He looks forward to going back to his volunteer job at a Spanish organization working for incest rights.
- People living in incest relationships in Sweden are living under horrible conditions. After talking to other Swedish people in such relationships, I've realized that Scandinavia is the worst place in Europe when it comes to incest, he says.
In Denmark and Sweden, the punishment for incest is up to 2 years imprisonment, while it's up to 5 years in Norway. In most EU countries, incest is not a crime.
GLXY aims to be Europe's most liberal LGBTQ website. We allow all sorts of members, despite their religious beliefs, political view, orientation or interest as long as it is not contrary to Estonian legislation.